Going Down in Flames
by Ash-Snowflakes
Summary: Alex didn't expect to be living under the same roof as an assassin nor did he want to. Bloody MI6, you don't put a sadistic sun-loving emotionally unstable bitch with a spy, it freaks them out a little. Rated T for Alex and his language.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is some random story I thought of last night...I really don't know

* * *

When Alex first heard MI6 had captured a Scorpia assassin, well he didn't hear it until they had actually shipped the guy to his house. Literally, like in a box with the tape and everything. It looked fairly normal but there wasn't a note on it and Alex, being the overly paranoid 15 year old he was, called the police. They came over and attempted to open the box. No one was really sure what that thing was made of but it just wouldn't freakin' open, or break. After about an hour or so they, the police, had decided to bring the box with them for studies, which probably involved smashing the bloody thing to bits. When they had managed to move the box halfway down the driveway the police were ultimately stopped by none other than the Head of Special Operations, Mrs Jones.

Cards and badges were shown, papers were signed and finally the box was placed in the house of Alex Rider. And the police forces left the scene feeling very confused.

"Alex, how are you?" Mrs Jones began pleasantly, popping a peppermint into her mouth.

"Bloody fine, tell me why that thing showed up at my door at 3 in the morning." The blonde teen replied annoyed.

"Our agents have managed to capture two of Scorpia's assassins and one of them is in that box. She will be staying with you as your bodyguard and as a way of repenting for her past. They are opening the box now." Mrs Jones replied slightly put-off by Alex's cold reaction.

"No. Get out. You, your agents and the goddamn assassin. Get out. I don't want to have anything to do with this, even if I did what makes you think it's a good idea to put an assassin in my house?"

Alex heard a faint giggling sound and spun around to face the source of the noise.

"Aw, you teen spy's sure are cute!" The voice sounded like it belonged to a stereotypical cowgirl. Two hands reached out and pinched Alex's cheeks as if he were a doll. Alex sprung back instantly. "What the actual hell?! Who are you?!"

The Head of MI6 cleared her throat, "Alex, this is Johanna. She is one of the assassins."

Alex turned back to look at Johanna. The woman had dark red hair and brown eyes. She gave him a 10 000 kilowatt smile and waved at him.

"Are you joking?" He asked in disbelief.

Johanna smiled sweetly, "No honey, I do believe Mrs Jones over here isn't joking at all." She said in that annoying high pitched voice. It sounded like a bad imitation of someone out in the country.

"Wait, why the hell would you stuff her into a practically unbreakable box in the first place and why do I need a bodyguard?!" Alex asked, more curious then annoyed now.

Mrs Jones looked a little annoyed, "Conditions." She mumbled before turning serious again, "Scorpia hasn't forgot about you yet and what better protection then under the wing of an assassin."

"Exactly. This is a nice place ya have here sweetie, a bit plain though don't ya reckon?" There was that shrill voice again.

"I think it's fine and I also think you should all leave." The teen replied deadpanned.

If it was possible for a Scorpia trained assassin to cry, well Johanna did cry.

"What's wrong honey, don't you like me?" she said between sobs. They weren't fake sobs or fake tears, Johanna had broken down and started full on crying. It was amazing actually, she was in her twenties and was a professional killer and here she was crying.

Alex wasn't a bad person so when he saw her crying he let her in the house, a little hesitantly of course. Johanna had then proceeded to collapse onto the cream colored couch in front of the plasma screen TV and continued her 'activity'.

Mrs Jones had followed and both she and Alex were now in the kitchen. The black haired strategist popped another peppermint in her mouth.

"Okaaaay." Alex began uncertainly. "So, she's emotionally unstable, glad we established that. What else? Does she throw knives at other peoples pet because she's that whacked out?" He said the craziest thing that came to him at that moment.

"Well not exactly..."Mrs Jones replied.

"Not exactly?" Alex questioned calmly, "So she does throw knives at things?"

Mrs Jones looked Alex in the eye and shivered slightly. Those brown eyes were cold and guarded, they were the eyes of someone who knew suffering. Sometime later the Head of MI6 would realise that she had been staring at the depths of hell itself.

"This is her file." Mrs Jones said, "Alex, listen, this is for your safety. I know that what we've done to you in the past was beyond wrong, it was inhumane, but what's done is done and I can't change that. I can try to make your future a lot better. For each of the missions you have been on we have payed you the same amount as any full time agent would have received, whether those missions were official or on your own accord. Johanna is here to keep any of Scorpia's revenge plans from hurting you, she is also your legal guardian. If you would like to continue school here I can speak to your principal about your 'absences' and arrange for you to retake all your tests as well as a personal tutor for you to catch up on the work you have missed."

Alex looked thoroughly shocked at first. He soon regained his composure. This was a pretty good offer, although it was too good to be true. "What's the catch?" he asked.

Mrs Jones openly flinched at the cold tone. Honestly though, here she was offering him this compensation and he just blatantly accused her of scheming. Mrs Jones sighed, it wasn't his fault, she knew that. "No catch, this is compensation. If you need anything else, you know where to find us."

Alex paused and was silent for a while. Slowly he looked up and raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Can you bring Jack back?" He replied smugly, his eyes were harboring intense hate and the snarl was already on his lips.

Mrs Jones took a step back in surprise. She understood the meaning of this. He wanted to vent. "No, I can't, you know that."

Alex scoffed. "Yeah, I knew that. How long do I have to stay with the emotionally unstable bitch?"

Mrs Jones frowned at his language. It was expected I suppose, he's only 15...

"She will be here until you are 21."

Alex nodded and grabbed the file that lay forgotten in the kitchen bench. "Alright then Mrs Jones, arrange that school thing you were talking about. Also don't expect me to help if your little organization is up in flames, I don't care."

"Very well then, goodbye Alex Rider." With that she turned her heel and left the household. All the agents stationed in the area got in their cars and promptly left feeling as confused as the police force did. Few of them knew the intentions of their boss, the rest were left in the dark.

When they had all left Alex walked out of the kitchen with the file and towards the couch, completely forgetting that the red haired assassin was lying there.

He sat down.

Poor, poor Alex.

* * *

It was shorter than I would have liked but anyways. Until next time.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: There will be a French word in here and I'm pretty sure it's not in the right context, so I apologize for that. If you now the correct way to say it please tell me.

* * *

"I'm sorry sweetie, you just scared me a bit."

A bit, was a major understatement. Alex was now nursing a possibly broken arm. It had been bandaged and an ice pack was positioned on top. He also sported a few bruises on his back and face.

Johanna had been lying in the couch when Alex sat on her legs prompting her to go into super crazy assassin mode and beat the living daylights out of the poor, unsuspecting blonde. Alex winced as he remembered that particular moment in time when her left hand had smashed into the side of his jaw. It took her about 5 minutes to figure out what happened and by then the teen was practically dead. He hadn't lost consciousness at all during the little scuffle, although he got pretty close to that line.

"Maybe we should get you to the hospital, don't you think sweetie?" Johanna gave him an apologetic look. She was standing in front of Alex with her hands on her knees and her back slightly bent so she was at eye level with the blonde who was sitting on his bed.

Alex glared, "No." he said shortly.

Johanna frowned, "Are you sure sweetie?" Alex fidgeted, he was pissed. Yes, I'm sure and a stop calling me 'sweetie'," he replied icily.

"Hm, okay then." Johanna stood up straight and crossed her arms over her chest in a thoughtful position, "How about sweetheart?"

"No."

"Sugar plum?"

"No."

"Honey?"

"No."

"What about doll?"

"Hell no! Just call me Alex!"

Johanna paused and looked at him carefully. "You remind me of an old friend of mine..." Alex shivered, the look the older woman gave him was slightly creepy.

"Aha! I'll call you Brownie!"

Alex looked appalled, "No! And what's with all the food references?!" Johanna tilted her head to the side and smiled, "Well I was feeling a little hungry, plus, sugary foods suit you. You're so cute!" she gushed like a high school girl. Alex paled. This woman had to be at least twenty, but she acts like she was in 9th grade.

"Come on _Miel_, let's eat at a restaurant today!"

The blonde blinked. _Miel...honey? What?_

Ian hadn't drilled all those French language lessons into his head for nothing. Miel meant honey in French, oh dear lord, was she going to start giving him nicknames in different languages too?!

"It makes no difference if you say it in French or English! Just call me Alex!" The teen was near his tolerance limit, one more push and he was going to storm out of the room and put on his whole 'teenager phase' act, injury or no injury.

Johanna looked surprised, "You understand French?"

Alex gave a small nod, his head still ached from the punch to the face.

"That's brilliant! Let's go have a holiday in France! It'll be so much fun, start packing now, we can leave tonight!" The dark-red haired woman started listing all the things they could do and began writing down items to bring on the trip.

"You've got to be joking." Alex said deadpanned. "It's the middle of the school semester and you want to leave, for France, tonight? What the hell?!"

"Why not? Wouldn't you prefer a nice relaxing holiday in a beautiful city to those boring textbooks?" Johanna did a little twirl and clapped her hands.

Alex lost it, "No! I need to go to school to catch up on my studies! MI6 screwed that up already so don't you start with those crappy holiday ideas!"

Johanna pouted childishly, "Are you sure, Miel?"

"I'm positive, and please, just call me Alex." The blonde was starting to feel tired. No surprise there, he had been woken up at around 3am and it was now 8 o'clock in the morning. It's a good thing today was Sunday.

"I'm going to bed, can you please leave the room?" Alex said sleepily and yawned for effect.

Johanna frowned but walked out of the room anyways, shutting the door behind her with a little click. Alex lay on his stomach on the bed a buried his face in the pillow. He was dead asleep in under twenty seconds.

* * *

"Wakey wakey! You have school today don't you?"

The bed sheets were thrown of the bed and the curtains were fully open, letting the bright, morning sun cover the blonde teen.

Alex groaned, "Five more minutes Jack..." he mumbled and shoved his head under his pillow.

Johanna raised an eyebrow, "Who's Jack? My name's Johanna, you do know that right. My my, it seems you're suffering from short term memory. You even read my file last night!"

Alex was suddenly wide awake.

_Jack...was gone..._

"Fuck you," he hissed and picked his covers off the ground. The dark red-haired assassin took a step back and put her hands up.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to insult you sweetheart, but you'll be late if you don't hurry now." Johanna said putting on a cheerful smile.

Alex's pillow flew across the room and smacked the assassin in the face, "Get out, I'll get changed now."

Johanna hastily moved our of the room chucking the pillow back at him and doing a little skip down the stairs. Alex sat up and drew the curtains shut a bit. He spaced out for a while, thinking about Jack.

_I hope you're having fun up there..._

Alex pulled out his drawer and grabbed his uniform, "I'm ready for hell..." He muttered and pushed open the door to his room only to be almost hurt by a plate of pancakes.

"I made breakfast!" Johanna sang and shoved the plate into his hands. The pancakes were stacked up high and drenched in maple syrup. Alex stared in shock, there was no way he could finish this much food.

Tentatively, he cut out a part using the fork. Alex twirled the piece of food before popping it into his mouth. It tasted delicious and he scoffed down about half of them before he had eaten enough.

He made his way downstairs and placed the remaining food in the kitchen before pulling on his shoes, "I gotta go now, thanks for the pancakes," he called out and promptly left.

"See you after school, honey!" Johanna smiled at him and waved.

"It's Alex!"


End file.
